On Being Present and Why Parenting Takes Two
What was meant to be a family vacation after a whirlwind Q1 began to go south when I found out rather belatedly that my passport had less than six months' validity. This meant I could not visit Singapore unless I got another passport and applied for another visa. I knew my passport was expiring, but I thought I still had more than six months' validity. Sadly, I found out on a Saturday while trying to fill out the arrival form for a flight that was to happen on Sunday.
After finding out, I thought of several options. Option one was to risk it and explain to immigration officers in Singapore that I was there for a short trip but when I checked Twitter (X) to see if someone else had been in the position, the general feedback was if you land with a passport that was expiring, the way you will be treated largely depends on your passport. So I knew better than to attempt this adventure with my green passport. God epp us!. Option two was to move the trip forward, but I had other plans for the coming months, so moving the trip forward was not a viable option, and the mere fact that I would have to reapply for another visa with the new passport was also enough to turn me off.
So I told my wife, "Why not just go on a solo trip without bothering about taking care of anyone? Just go, have fun, vlog, and enjoy your life?" An offer she vehemently rejected. I still joke with her that I knew she was happy deep down, which she still denies, but I kind of feel she was. Who wouldn’t? Well, I will. Honestly, sometimes, I wish I could take a break from everything and enjoy myself for a short period.
So we left for the airport, my wife to Singapore, my boy and I to Qatar. We were on the same flight to Qatar, so it was the regular. To be honest, I thought I should be fine with taking care of David alone because I am VERY present in his life. Yeah, you can call me Dad of the year but the first realisation that I was stuck alone with a toddler and maybe this was a bad idea was when I needed to push my trolley and David’s stroller after exiting immigration in Qatar while still trying to exit the airport, get a taxi and get to the hotel. By the time we got to the hotel, David was only interested in eating and sleeping.
The start of day one was rather chaotic. In my bid to ensure everyone is happy and David does not cry, I gave him all the freedom he wanted, which turned out to be a bad decision. For instance, he insisted he wants to feed himself, so I gave him a plastic spoon. The result? We messed up the whole room, and I had to spend the next twenty to thirty minutes cleaning up the stained rug. After that incidence, It occured to me that the reason why kids think their dads are cool and mums are always the overprotective party poopers is basically because dads indulge kids “without necesarily cleaning up the mess” and “mess” in this context goes beyond the present.
Day two was a lot better. Shout out to Kunda and friends. Sadly, I had to ignore the screen time limit of less than 30 minutes daily that we had in place. I was not happy with the change, but I needed to work, and one sure way to stop David from distracting or disturbing me is when he is watching Kunda and friends. I still wonder how vibrant visuals from animations can keep kids glued to their screens forever.
By day three, we had established a routine that involved going to the reception and the nursery, having a siesta, enjoying Kunda and friends while I worked, taking an evening stroll, eating dinner at the outdoor restaurant, etc. I know children love routines but I was surprised at how quickly he adjusted to the routine to the extent that when it was time to go down the elevator to the reception, he starts dragging me to get up, or sometimes, he brings me my slippers, indicating it was time to leave the room.
The remaining days were less daunting, and we created unforgettable memories. However, even though we were in a great hotel without having to care for what to eat or how the room was cleaned, it was still evident that parenting is not something I could do alone. I was the most relieved after my wife joined us in Qatar after a week, even though I acted like everything was under control, and she could have extended her vacation. 😁